HEALING EMOTIONAL
SELF-ABUSE
The key that opens the door to our desired transformation is through our conscious
commitment to take responsibility for all our perceptions and life experiences. The
real-ization that we have chosen these experiences for our own evolution rather than as a
form of punishment, ac-celerates the process of self transformation and healing. There is
so much focus today on child abuse, and how many of us have been 'abused' either by a
relative or a stranger. The words dysfunctional, co-dependent, abuse, and addiction are
all words that we see repeatedly in almost all self-help manuals and psychological
therapies. Of all these topics and issues, however, there is an essential one that is not
discussed or studied in depth. This is the topic of how we create and act out various
forms of self-abuse.
So many people that are now "coming out of the closet" admitting that they were
sexually, physically, mentally, or emotionally abused are unconsciously re-creating the
role of victim: "Look what's been done to me, how I was abused". Did you ever
have the courage to ask yourself "what part of me created this abusive
experience?", what part of me was I not loving to attract such an intense experience?
What part of myself have I abused to manifest this lack of love in the physical plane? How
does self-abuse start? What is the cause? How can I heal all forms of self-abuse?
WHAT IS SELF-ABUSE? All self'-abuse has its roots in denial and
repression of our basic human need for love, to be vulnerable, and to receive love.
Self-abuse started many lifetimes ago. There is not one person on this planet who is not,
through one form or another, healing a major aspect of self-abuse. We incarnate on this
planet to heal ma-jor issues of self-abuse. Whether this started on another planet in
another time dimension, or another lifetime here on earth, it does not matter. The point
is that as 'human' beings we are all dealing with this same basic is-sue; we all are
learning how to be more loving to ourselves by forgiving, releasing and transmuting the
cause, effect and memory of that abuse.
WE CHOOSE OTHERS (PARENTS, ETC.) TO PHYSICALLY ACT OUT OUR OWN UNCONSCIOUS FORMS
OF SELF-ABUSE. Taking responsibility for the cause of this uncon-scious choice
allows us to initiate the first step of our healing and transformation. Self-abuse is a
form of self-punishment that goes way back in time, perhaps lifetimes, or even light year
dimensions away, when we first had our experience of separation, duality, conflict and
pain. Many patterns and forms of abuse that manifest during our childhood, are karmic
"paybacks" from other lifetimes of abuse in which we all participated as human
beings. We chose a mother or father (who may have been our lover, business associate, or
rival in another lifetime) to act out a form of self-punishment because we have not
forgiven or released our own guilt or self-judgment for an experience we participated in
when we may have been the 'villain' or the abuser in that lifetime.
Self-abuse can also start from unrequited love, abandon-ment, or rejection in early
childhood. Many times when we do not receive something we really need or want, or when
something dear to us is taken away we feel cheated and rejected by the universe. Our inner
child screams out in longing and doesn't understand why it can't have what it needs.
Frustration and conflict manifest, and feelings of unworthiness start to creep into the
subconscious mind. This starts a chain of emotional reactions that inhibit the creative
flow of life within us, and what we really desire in life becomes even more inaccessible
and remote.
Somewhere during this succession of events,
the thought or belief that "I can never have this in my life", "I'll never
be able to achieve this kind of success and relationship", or I'm not good
enough" begin to take over in the subconscious mind. We begin to feel emotionally
paralyzed, our power to move beyond that thought pattern, beyond that belief is frozen in
self - doubt and fear. Self-abuse begins at that moment in our belief system when we have
lost the faith both in ourselves and in the universe to create all that we need for our
happiness and fulfillment. If we can't create this fulfillment on earth, how are we going
to find it somewhere else? The search starts and ends within your SELF. No one else holds
that key; not a mother, a father, not your lover, husband or wife. Only you and your God
Self can open the door to love and freedom.
Self-abuse is also a denial of some part of ourselves that we choose to ignore, a vital
part of ourselves that is not seen as attractive, loved, or accepted into our reality.
Whether it is the spiritual awareness of our God Self, our sexuality, the quality of our
life, the belief in oneself and life, jeal-ousy, anger, or whatever aspect of the Self we
are choos-ing to ignore or deny. This is the very part of us that will create a chain of
circumstances and events that will challenge us to eventually face all parts of our being.
It truly necessitates learning compassion and tenderness towards our own Self, as we
release major patterns of self-judgment, self-punishment, and guilt. We will continue to
cre-ate situations and experiences in life that are abrasive and painful over and over
again, until we finally see and understand with our heart and mind what we are creating.
This motivates us to heal the cause and effect of all forms of self-abuse.
As human beings, when we don't receive what we need, we "shut off", feel
rejected, worthless, and our faith in our own power crumbles. We immediately feel guilt
that "I did something wrong, so I don't feel worthy to receive the love or joy I
want." When we entertain this attitude, we begin to feel that "I don't
deserve". Our own value of ourselves diminishes to a powerless and helpless creature.
THAT IS SELF-ABUSE. Punishing ourselves for "doing something
wrong" is also a form of self-abuse. Denying self awareness and holding back the
recognition of our deepest feelings, longing and sexual desires, is also a form of
self-abuse. We probably live in one of the most self-abusive societies in the world, where
repression, denial, self-punishment and guilt have all contributed to what is called a
'normal, healthy society'. By starting with ourselves, and healing our own issues of
self-abuse, we can contribute to the healing of a humanity in great need of awakening,
transformation and wholeness
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